The sweets in his mouth felt different than usual.The supposed taste should be associated with reassurance and confident but all that mingling was a hint of uneasiness, somehow.
It has the essence of familiarity in it-- But this marginal contrasting taste, deviating in what he had hope for left nothing but disturbance.
The arising urge to crush the sweets with his own teeth proliferated but his intended action came to a halt as he realized what was this bitter sensation is all about. Ah, right. The feeling of being incomplete and lost. The same old taste of despair and hopelessness.
Ah, He should have seen this coming.
But he didn't.
He did not see this coming at all.
No alarm rang off. No gray clouds hovering his head.
Just when he thought that he had found serenity. That kind of peace where the roots are holding close to its ground, shall not be shaken when flicked- but- It all crumbled within minutes and silently yet surely, his solid foundation is removed- The foundation- His sanity.
[
Silent.. No sound....
Nothing.
Where have the sounds went off too? Where had they gone to? Have the medium ceased to exist that he can't hear anything? Is the world ending? No. No. No. No.
He clutched onto his clothed chest tightly, hoping to fill the soundless void with his scream:
『 Aaa....
How weak.
He plummeted to the ground, knees meeting the coarse pavement that he even grazed upon.
He was fucking sure that he might need to tend the scratches but all he cared at this moment was how weak he was. For breaking down again.
In this road that had seen him walking down thousand of times since he was a child until he blossomed into an adolescent. Why here? Why here? Why now? This is uncalled for.
If someone were to peek out of their windows they would have surely seen a man kneeling down like a fallen child but all he can hear was a pop song that was repeating chants of: Zunzundoko! zunzundoko!
So merrily! so cheerily! that it had made his heart suffocated more and his breathing became clogged- pure digust was permeating from the occlusion. Without pure reason everything had became disgusting.
Even his sole being was becoming repellent to his own nature.
{Help me. HElp me.. HELp me...HELP.. me....HELP ME!}
Weak! Weak! Weak!
With all that he could do is to clutch his goddamn black shirt that began to drench in his own cold sweat. His heart became even more palpable that his mediastinum was pushing against his formed fist- That fast that his heart was beating- His sympathetic pathway began to overwhelm him rapidly and there was no use to fight back when all there was rolling down was his tears.
Useless. Weak. Could not even fight back for your own self. This is why everyone leaves you behind.
Save me.
Please.
No?
Ah, everything is so bleak.
Pitch black... just like my heart.
Haha, or maybe my future.
This is how it feels like. To break without warning, to fall without notice- All the synonyms of it. Why? Why?
Hah.. I'm tired... So tired.... Please let me sleep... And never wake up...
Will I ever wake up?
Nivashinie, what have I written? send help. I just predescribed to you the moments in my down days. when i will get back to writing fics? stay tune as I procrastinate more, love.
