Fathoming
my own heart seems to be the hardest thing to do in this world. It felt like my
heart was initially born in a state of bewilderment instead of the innocent and
easy-to-understand kind of heart. I always stuck in a phase where I would stare
outside a window or probably just facing without doing anything but to just
sort out what is it that this my heart was telling me.
If I am
saying being human is complicated, I myself would say that understanding your
heart is way much harder, somehow.
Speaking
of hearts, humans’ heart is scary. From my own perspective, your heart is your
own shadow. Your heart is the one that shall speak to you and command you before
your mind as you make an action or statement. Your heart is the one that you
shall refer to whenever feelings swerve and spin in your stomach or nerves. Your
heart shall be the first out of all that is working in your body (though they
say the brain is the master, but heh.) But yet again, people absolutely have
the affinity to facade themselves rather than expressing what is there in their
heart. These facades often hide the colors of their heart and this drives me to
be scared of humans’ heart. Most of the time facades are not usually something
that is aspectabund so you will never know what is occurring in their heart.
They could be happy with you, they could despise you or whatsoever.
They say
heart can be your own unnoticed coup d’état. Correct me if I am wrong,
sometimes you act to what your own heart says without even thinking, right? If
such action that you take that is solely based on what your heart said then
resulting a bad consequences, is not that back-firing yourself? Being
back-fired by your ownself is the last thing I want myself to experience
because I knew sooner or later something called regret will come and push me
down to the ground and haunt me which I truly despise.
Heart is just confusing and
dangerous as it is to me.
Funny
that I typed this down with a flustered heart.
